Well thanks to a favourite YouTuber of mine, I stumbled upon a review site which has quickly become one of the few pages I visit daily.
Letterboxd is the name, and reviewing films is the game.
I've written four so far, and I thought instead of simply linking the reviews, I'd do something that takes just a smidgen more of effort: Copy 'n' paste them.
So, I might make this a weekly/monthly thing, I'm not sure yet, but there they are...
5 out of 5 stars.
This film is a masterpiece.
There's certain films that you start watching and you almost instantly recognise them as a masterpiece (i.e. The Godfather, Reservoir Dogs, The Deer Hunter, Heat, etc..) and this is DEFINITELY one of them.
What can I say about this film that hasn't been said by every damn critic ever?
It's flawless. It's bloody flawless. I don't even want to go into specifics, really.
Just watch it, that's all.
Just watch it.
3½ out of 5 stars.
I still don't get the massive amount of love this movie gets.
I mean, it's fine on its own, but really..when compared to Alien.. it just pails in comparison.
The writing is nowhere near as sharp, the characters nowhere near as memorable or likeable, the acting is nowhere near as impressive, the pacing is either too slow or too fast in places and the entire concept of Alien (a haunted house in space) is thrown out the window, resulting in almost no subtlety and jumpscares galore.
Now, the movie definitely has its redeeming qualities: the action, when paced correctly, can be VERY entertaining, Sigourney Weaver, the effects still hold up amazingly well, and.....that's about it.
It's fine, really, but Alien 3 needs much more attention, in my opinion.
The Raid (2011)
4½ out of 5 stars.
Jesus christ, this film just doesn't stop moving.
And I mean that in a good way.
Seriously, its pacing is amazing and damn brutal.
This has some of the best action I have EVER SEEN IN FILM, full stop.
The choreography in this film is just ridiculous, beating Captain America: The Winter Soldier (which I couldn't see happening at the time) by miles.
The story is.. well, it's ok. Its story really is the downfall of this one.
And to be perfectly honest, it doesn't bother me that it is; I'm only mentioning it for the sake of the review.
But really, you get what you get, and in this case, you get a masterpiece of action choreography and brutal violence.
(Sigh) Dougal and the Blue Cat (1970)
4 out of 5 stars.
I wasn't sure if to rate this film as the critic within me would, or as the two year old seeing this for the first time would.
In the end I settled for the two year old.
This film has made a massive impact on my life, and I can't even specify how.
This film is pure emotion, happy, sad, scary, relieved, funny, bizarre.
It covers all of these emotions, and it does so with its funny, witty and hugely memorable characters.
This really is an experience, be it weird and disturbing, or light and charming, you'll definitely get an experience with this film.
(May I just add that the scary things in this film still scare me to no end, even today? The blue voice, the soldiers made from whips, the scary faces room and the treacle factory in general, the weird knife throwing machine thing, all still haunt me.
And I don't mind one jot.)